Crack Biscuits

Miss Dorian Gray on my couch

First off, do I not have the cutest kitten ever? Ever ever?

Now for the best biscuit recipe EVER. I’m going to warn you right now: don’t read this post any further unless you’re willing to make a commitment. A serious commitment. A commitment to carbs. If you’re low-carb, no-carb, anti-everything-that’s-good-in-this-world-carb, then stop. (Anyways, I don’t know why you’d be reading my blog if you hate carbs…) Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

These, these are crack biscuits. I swear there’s got to be MSG or crack slipped in them somehow while I’m not looking. Maybe there’s some major chemical change while they bake. Maybe, just maybe, the southerners did something right.

The problem is, I can’t stop making them. This is my…7th? batch or so in two weeks. Seriously. At first I didn’t have self-rising flour, and even though they were super dense and tiny and probably not that good, I kept making them will all-purpose flour until I went to the grocery store to buy flour specifically for these biscuits. I’ve also used up an entire jar and a half of veganaise on them too.

And why are they so good? Baked in a muffin tin, they get more crispy on more area, leaving a golden satisfying hardness with each bite of the bottom. But on top and in the middle they are so light and so fluffy and so buttery and so satisfying. I’m eating my 3rd one of the morning as I speak. And did I mention they only need three, THREE!, ingredients?

Southern Mayo Biscuits

2 cups self-rising flour
3 tbsp veganaise
1 cup soy milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Spray a muffin tin with oil. Spoon the biscuit batter into the muffin tin so that each cup is half-full. Bake for 15-20 minutes or until the bottoms of the biscuits are golden-brown.

18 Responses to “Crack Biscuits”
  1. VeggieGirl says:

    Dorian Gray = the epitome of cuteness.I say, keep making the biscuits!! :0)

  2. Sophia from Kitchen Caravan says:

    The biscuits look great- I can’t believe they only require three ingredients! I will have to try them someday soon. . .

  3. Shellyfish says:

    We want to get a new kitty sooooo badly, and you’re just making me want one even more with that little Dorian! Three ingredients?! Freaking genius!

  4. Darius T. Williams says:

    Yup – definitely the cutest cat ever. Also, you’ve combined mayo and biscuits – rock on – totally!!

  5. Veggienetters says:

    OHHHH my granny used to make them like this (with real Duke’s Mayo of course)!!! I never thought of using Veganaise!!! Genius! Pure genius! Cute kitty!

  6. Liz² says:

    aaah, you’re killing me, my jar of nasoya is way way at home, and I neeeeeeed biscuits! I guess I’m safe for a while longer?

  7. Destiny's Vegan Kitchen says:

    Oh my. Vegenaise is already like my favorite food over here! Those are dangerous.Your kitty is very beautiful, especially her green eyes!

  8. Leigh says:

    You had me at “mayo”.

  9. Cynthia says:

    I just made these biscuits, and they were deeelicious! I didn’t have self rising flour, so I used regular flour and added 3 tsp baking powder and 1 tsp salt.

  10. DaviMack says:

    You were unaware that veganaise turns into crack cocaine when used as a baking ingredient? ;)

  11. Celine says:

    you had me at vegenaise. nah, you actually had me as soon as I saw DG's picture. <3

  12. Gail says:

    So what you’re telling me is that a blissed-out carb coma is only three ingredients away? Incredible.Everything tastes better when served over a biscuit.

  13. B36Kitchen says:

    cute cute kitten!I need those biscuits..I need them now!

  14. Shunra says:

    Those are awesome! My 10-year old just made the second batch in our household; I made the first batch and served it with a vegan gravy. Thanks!

  15. Rural Vegan says:

    I’m intrigued by the short list of ingredients, how cool is that?!

  16. Shunra says:

    Ok, I have to comment again. You’re not kidding about crack. My daughter just made two more batches (the next day).

  17. cellophanequeen says:

    i’ve been making these biscuits for some time now… thought i better post and say just how scrum-diddly-umptious they are!!!

    and i melt a little every time i come back to this blog to check the baking temp/time & see that adorable kitty!!!

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